I’m reading a novel which reminded me of an earlier chapter in my life. Well, not exactly a chapter, more like a weird page.

In 2000 I was was traveling to Huntington, WV with a training team from Amazon to open a new customer service call center. I was just starting to come out. Two very persistent friends thought I should find some women to spend my evenings and weekends with rather than be stuck in an apartment. Amazon allowed one rented car for the four trainers, which was fine for getting to work, but there is a big interest gap between being forty, gay and a non-drinker (at the time) and being twenty-somethings, straight and serious partiers.

2000 is four years before Facebook was started and Google was still a baby. Rather than search for “lesbians Huntington WV”, there was a paper directory that listed contact information by state and city of local women who would provide insider information about safe locations: bars, sections of town, homes with a spare couch, etc.

In a move of absolute chutzpah, which delights me to this day, I called the contact.

I can’t remember her name, but her voice sounded like she smoked two packs a day, drank a fifth of whiskey and had a mouth full of marbles, and that was in addition to her accent. Even more surprising than the sound of her voice over the apartment land line, was what she had to say. Within a ten minute conversation, I heard the phrases, “they have a snake at my favorite bar”, (!) “slapped her so hard, she fell off her barstool”, (!!) and “don’t worry, if there’s a fight, I’ll protect you, I have a knife.” (!!!)

Oh my sweet goodness! Looking back I kind of wish I’d gone, but, then, I have much more confidence now in who I am than I did. At the time I was both appalled and weirdly fascinated. I really wanted to go to a women’s bar with a snake and drink a Coke! At the same time, my best move as a fighter is to stay home. And, I was positive I did not want to go with a hothead, especially when I didn’t have a car for a quick exit. (I don’t like cabs: being alone in a car with a stranger, in a city I don’t know sets off too many alarm bells.) A fight?! I was looking for a woman-owned bookstore with a good mystery section and, maybe, maybe, my first date with a woman over some hot chocolate.

“Almost heaven”…. hah! Almost snake bit, more like!